By discovering the confidence that lies deep within you, your stress will dissolve away, your fears will disappear, your freedom will develop in abundance and your happiness will explode. As you discover your confidence, the pattern of your thoughts, and thus feelings and behaviours, will change for the better. This will create a rewiring of your brain, producing new neural pathways. You will actually create a new brain. Your new brain and new confidence will pull your life back into balance. 

As a teenager, like most of us, I was very unsure of myself and constantly wanting people to like me. In those early adolescent years, I struggled with confidence. For example, if someone looked at me, I would worry about what they were thinking. Some of us may still think like this. The human brain is exceptional at filling in the gaps. My mind used to fill in those gaps with thoughts that were always self-defeating. This led to me feeling bad about myself and then going into my shell. I didn’t like that. 

I discovered that my self-talk led to feelings of negativity and ultimately behaviours where I would withdraw. I decided to play a game. I changed the way I interpreted interacting with others and ‘made up’ new ideas for what others might be thinking about me. My made up thoughts were always complimentary and would highly benefit me. This new thought created a positive feeling and more favourable behaviour. For example, when someone looked at me, I started saying to myself that they thought I was cool and wanted to talk with me. 

As an adult, I learned that this is known as reframing, and I had accidentally stumbled upon it as a fifteen year old kid. This little trick became a habit and still serves me to this day. It has led to an abundance of confidence when it comes to interacting with others. This mindset has led to some amazing opportunities in my life. For example, when I believe that peoples thoughts compliment me, I feel more confident and exude a greater level of confidence. 

To show the world the confidence that is in you right now, follow these strategies:

• Recognise your thoughts. Learn to recognise when your thoughts lead to negative feelings. Do this by increasing your self-talk. The more you talk to yourself, the more you will recognise where your self-talk is leading your feelings and behaviours.

• Flip your negative thought. When your self-talk (thought) leads to a feeling that doesn’t make you feel awesome, make up a new thought that does. Even if you don’t believe it at first, just say it (to yourself).

• Do it more often. The more you tell yourself that others are thinking complimentary thoughts about you, the deeper these thoughts become ingrained.

• Use your positive self-talk as affirmations. Write down three of your favourite thoughts about yourself and say them ten, twenty, thirty times every morning and evening.

To create confidence from nothing, start by recognising your thoughts. Recognise when you’re interpreting a situation to be negative. Interpreting situations as negative leads to feelings and behaviours that don’t serve you well. Flip your self-talk to be positive so that you interpret a situation as benefitting you. In your next situation at work, home, or in a shop, pretend that people are thinking of you in a way that makes you feel good.

When in your past have you interpreted a situation that didn’t serve you well? What could you say to yourself instead, that would lead to more happy feelings and favourable behaviours? 

Leave your answer to those questions in the comments section below.